Trauma Egg Exercise
The trauma egg is a visual chronology of traumatic events starting in the earliest years of one's life to present day.
Published: February 26, 2024
Reviewed: May 18, 2026
What is a trauma egg
The trauma egg is a visual chronology of traumatic events starting in the earliest years of one's life to present day. It creates an inventory of emotional wounding and threads those heartbreaks into a story that reveals the resulting belief systems. The review allows us to gain perspective of how past adaptive strategies to those environments disconnected from our hearts and continue to have impact today.
Childhood trauma is about heartbreak . . . A survival strategy that children use to protect against the pain of this heartbreak, and further loss, is to disconnect from their heart . . . The disconnection from emotion creates difficulties and distress moving into adulthood and has long-term impact on relationships, health, and well-being.
Laurence Heller, PhD and Brad J. Kammer, LMFT
Who created the trauma egg
The trauma egg was developed by psychotherapist Marilyn Murray as one exercise in a therapeutic framework for processing emotional trauma known as the Murray Method.
This article is a tutorial for making a trauma egg. Before we begin, let's first go over the purpose of a trauma egg and define different types of trauma.
What is trauma
The word trauma has its origin in the Greek word for wound. It's not an event; it's what happens to you from an event. Not everyone experiences a significant event the same way. Imagine two people in the same car who walk away from a near-fatal accident. They could experience that event totally different. It's possible only one person will develop trauma. It's also possible both will; or neither. Trauma is subjective.
Clinically speaking, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) defines traumatic events in the context of post-traumatic stress in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed):
Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways: directly experiencing the traumatic event(s); witnessing, in person, the traumatic event(s) as it occurred to others; learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend (in case of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental); or experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s).
Problem is, none of those conditions need to be met in order for someone to experience an event as traumatizing. Again, trauma is subjective. It's about how a person relates to any experience that is less than nurturing; not just death, injury, or violence.
Non-clinically speaking, trauma is the name for psychological wounding when our nervous system gets overloaded by a threatening physical or emotional event that is incomprehensible at the time. When our brain can't make sense of the event, it gets stored. The memory of it (implicit and explicit), all our sensory information (sights, sounds, smells, etc), and our associated emotions all get stored for later processing. They get stored in our mind and body. Think of that storage as trauma. It persists!
This can have huge implications. The original experience can be triggered when similar circumstances in the present day are perceived as familiar to the stored information. We may not even know why our nervous system is reacting, yet something as insignificant as a scent or visual cue is able to cause us to re-live the original experience somatically because the body keeps the score.
Types of trauma
There are several types of trauma. For our purposes here, we'll focus on two general categories. You'll need to use this information for the exercise.
- Shock trauma
- Complex trauma
—shock trauma
Also known as "Big T" or acute trauma, it is the type most people are familiar—a single significant event trauma that is treated under the diagnosis of PTSD. The nervous system is overwhelmed and unable to respond defensively. It's as if the event is frozen in our psyche. Ones that quickly come to mind are: near-death experiences, victimization of assault or violence, natural disasters, vehicle accidents, childbirth, war, severe abuse or neglect (mental, physical, emotional, or sexual), etc.
—complex trauma
This is the type most people are least familiar—a series of stressful experiences that can be labeled as Complex-PTSD. We refer to these experiences as "Small t" events; meaning, non-life threatening experiences or interpersonal victimization where our needs are unmet and we cannot escape the environment.
Anything less than nurturing by a significant attachment figure can feel traumatic, especially if it's recurring or creates a modified belief system. For example, consider an adult man who has low self-esteem because he was told by his parents throughout childhood that he wouldn't amount to anything.
It's not possible to list all ways "Small t" manifests, yet a general pattern for this exercise is any ongoing uncertainty or significant mis-attunement by your parents or others from whom you should have expected to receive care and safety. This can be subtle abuse or neglect, or family dysfunction that repeats over time.
Let's compare the difference. A divorce or a parent's death (both are abandonments) could be experienced as a Big-T shock trauma to a child. Whereas living a period of time as a latch-key child could also have a felt sense of abandonment that develops as a complex trauma.
In the Big-T example, a child could feel mortality vulnerable at the sudden loss of a parent. In the Small-t example, a developing sense of feeling uncared for, unwanted, or unloved could reinforce a similar abandonment narrative.
Adam Young explains that children have six core needs that must be met by their parents:
Adverse childhood experiences
Please don't dismiss any harms—big or small—you've encountered in life. They've all had impact.
In the mid-1990s, the Center for Disease Control teamed up with Kaiser Permanente to conduct a (now famous) study linking adverse childhood experiences (ACE) with long-term health problems. The findings of the ACE study, as it is called, show a strong correlation between adverse childhood experiences and increased health risk later in life. The higher number of adverse experiences from birth through adolescence, the higher the risk for negative mental and physical conditions in adulthood.
The ACE quiz consisted of 10 questions and you can easily find examples of it on the Internet. I've provided a link to one below. I invite you to take the test now to help put you into a open mindset of exploring your own adverse experiences with this trauma egg exercise.
The quiz examines 10 types of adverse experiences. Nearly 1 in 6 adults report at least a score of 4, and that level raises serious health concerns:
- nearly doubles the risk of heart disease and cancer
- +230% risky sexual behaviors
- +390% pulmonary lung disease
- +460% depression
- +700% alcoholism
- +1,220% attempted suicide
- nearly doubles the risk of heart disease and cancer
- +230% risky sexual behaviors
- +390% pulmonary lung disease
- +460% depression
- +700% alcoholism
- +1,220% attempted suicide
Trauma egg instructions
Drawing the egg
You'll need:
- A large, blank sheet of paper. Legal size or larger.
- A pencil or pen.
- Writing instruments for simple art drawing: colored pencils, colored pens, or Crayons.
Reference the example image. Draw a large oval top-centered on the paper. Leave enough space in the corners for writing. Near the top of the oval, draw a horizontal line from the inside left edge to the inside right edge.
Or, save a little time and download our starter template.
Get a pdf copy
Download a free pdf copy of these Trauma Egg instructions by subscribing to our Substack, Insights for Recovery and Healing. We view addiction through a lens of trauma and attachment.
Filling the egg
Follow the instructions below. Reference the example images while completing the exercise. This may not be a quick project. It may take a few hours or even a few days. Diving into emotionally painful memories can be difficult and triggering. Allow grace for yourself and take pauses often.
>> inside the egg
Starting at the low center of the oval, draw a small egg outline just large enough for a picture. Draw a symbol or small picture that represents the earliest memory of trauma or feeling of powerlessness since your birth. For very early years it may not be a memory you can recall; it may be a story you were told. Examples may be birth trauma, surgery, or serious injury as an infant. A picture can be as simple or creative as you like. Write your age with each event and emotions you felt at that time. Include emotions you needed to feel but weren't safe to express.
Add more egg shapes on top of one another for every traumatic event and fill them with a picture for representation. The earliest events will be near the bottom of the oval and the later events will be stacked on top, sequentially from your birth to present day. Fill the oval until the eggs reach the horizontal line.
- Memories may be hard to retrieve. It's okay if you remember something later. The order of entries doesn't have to be perfect.
- Mark any events or behaviors that repeated frequently over a long period of time.
- You may get curious to explore the significance of individual events while peeling back your history of trauma. I encourage you not to dive into their significance while building the trauma egg. It's best to unpack those mysteries with a professional rather than doing it alone.
- Include any addiction behaviors and their consequences (i.e. legal, financial, health, job impacts, ...)
- Take particular attention to any events of sexual abuse, physical abuse, or witnessing interparental violence.
- I have yet to hear a client's story that didn't include a situation where he made a solemn promise to himself that resembles "I can never let that happen to me again." Those are profound events, be sure to include them.
Why the imagery?
Drawing connects oneself to the emotional centers of the brain. This helps us feel the events of implicit and explicit memories.
>> upper left corner
Write a short list of your family's rules—spoken and unspoken—that you experienced as a child. Unspoken rules are particularly important.
Also list any family boundaries. Note if your family followed a strict, lax, or neutral relational structure.
>> upper right corner
Write a short list of the roles you played within your family. They may have changed over time; include your age for each role. Some examples are listed below. Also, write down specifics of the family dynamics: number of siblings, divorces, single-parent home, etc.
- the good kid
- the problem child
- family clown
- scapegoat
- the good kid
- the problem child
- family clown
- scapegoat
>> lower left corner
Write a short list of words (adjectives) to describe your father, his personality, and your relationship to him. If you had a stepfather, create a list next to the first and label both. I invite you to notice whether you find yourself holding back from any negative descriptions or critiques of your parents. If that happens, do your best to write honestly and afterward write your reason for reservation.
>> lower right corner
Write a short list of words (adjectives) to describe your mother, her personality, and your relationship to her. If you had a stepmother, create a list next to the first and label both. Follow the same guidance for honest descriptions as the father-corner.
>> left or right side
List any long-term stressors in your life. Examples may include: marital dysfunction, chronic illness or disability, generalized anxiety, depression, and addictions.
>> lower center area
Write a short list of words to describe your understanding and relationship to a Higher Power.
**Note: the words I used in the image are just examples.
How to use the trauma egg
This exercise can help reveal how you adapted to adverse conditions in your life, and how those situations were learned lessons that developed certain beliefs over time.
As you consider each event:
- Notice any feelings or emotions that arise.
- What is the message you received from that event?
- Do you see an ongoing theme throughout?
- Do you recreate these traumas today?
In the top open space of the trauma egg, list three beliefs you have developed from your trauma experiences. They may not be readily apparent to you. This is why it's best to involve a trauma-informed professional to share your story. He or she can help you explore and name those belief systems.
Tony is co-founder of Oak Mountain Coaching, an online practice that helps men regain their sexual integrity from the throes of active addiction and helps their partners heal from betrayal trauma.
-
The Root Cause of Addiction
A cycle of shame at the root cause of addiction cannot be remedied with quick fixes, expert tips, or a checklist.
-
The Opposite of Addiction
Men with addiction are stuck in a cycle of compulsion and secrets. Trying to hide and fight it alone only serves to feed the addiction.
-
Greatest Fear of Recovery
Fear is a powerful force. An innate survival skill, it keeps us in loneliness by taking the choice of relationship away from others.
-
Addiction Slips vs Relapse
Slips and relapse describe falling short of sobriety in one's recovery. Let's examine what they can mean for you.
-
Three Circles Exercise
The Three Circles is a recovery exercise for sexual sobriety that defines behaviors related to a struggler's addiction.
-
How Porn Harms
Telling yourself, 'It's not hurting anyone' is wishful thinking. Research shows it affects your brain and everyone around you.
-
Why Am I Addicted to Porn?
Discover how internalized shame fuels porn addiction and identify hidden emotional patterns with our internalized shame test.
Scroll horizontally
Join our Substack
Get recovery and healing insights delivered right to your inbox.
