Taking Care of Basic Needs

For healing to begin we must take care of our most basic physiological needs. Easier said than done; especially when you can't stop shaking and/or digest food. I get it! Trust me I do. I want to help you build a basic understanding of why your body isn't functioning properly. The purpose of this is so that you can also develop more awareness of and compassion for yourself.

After discovering that you are a victim of partner betrayal, your brain and body go into survival mode. It is an autonomic nervous system response. Your body was designed to do this to keep you safe. You may think that partner betrayal isn't truly life threatening, but your nervous system interprets it as such. We are relational creatures. Our nervous system sends out an alert to the rest of our body when our relational connections are threatened. When we are in the early stages of PBT/survival mode, nothing feels safe. We don’t know who to trust or where to turn. We feel unsafe in our own bodies. Does that sound familiar? If so, please know you are not alone, you are not broken. Life in survival mode looks and feels very different than life in thrive mode.

If you've watched the video linked above you now have a better understanding of what's happening in your body. Over the next few days, I will be sharing with you a few tips that have helped me recover some sense of self and peace. Until then, focus on caring for the bottom of the pyramid, your basic needs. Find safe foods, find a good meditative playlist for when you can’t get your brain to calm for the night. Take a walk in the fresh air. Hydrate, drink lots of water! And most importantly, try to honor your brain and body for keeping you safe.

Remember you are not alone. You are loved. You are going to be OK!