Trauma Pasta: Finding Safe Foods
Struggling to eat? When in survival mode, our nervous system redirects most of the body’s energy to systems that keep us alive.
Published: August 9, 2022
Reviewed: February 19, 2025
“Trauma Pasta,” as we have so lovingly named it, was a safe food for me during the early days after discovery.
In Taking Care of Your Basic Needs, we learned that our autonomic nervous system is very reactive during times of stress/trauma. While our body is in survival mode, our nervous system redirects most of your body’s energy to the systems in charge of keeping us alive. Remember, the reality of betrayal trauma is that your nervous system interprets this as a threat to your life. Our relational connections are paramount to our survival.
Sadly, this redirect can have a direct impact on your digestive system, especially with long term exposure to trauma. Living in this space before and after discovery is traumatic to your system. The “gut feeling” or unease you felt before discovering your partners betrayal, that was your nervous system telling you something in your environment was/is unsafe. I’ll have a post about learning to listen to your gut feelings later, for now I want you to be able to feed your gut.
Today we’re covering one basic of self-care, food. Studies show the importance of nutrition and mental health. I would encourage you to find foods that are a safe texture and flavor but also provide nutritional value. If you are having a hard time finding safe foods, experiment with different things until you find something that works for you. I am a vegetarian, so finding a safe nutritious food was hard. My experiment led me to the discovery of protein pasta. What will you discover during your experimentation with safe foods?
Try my Trauma Pasta recipe. It's super simple and very tasty. Mix cooked pasta with fresh herbs, or Italian seasoning, add a little EVOO, throw in some ground pistachios, top with freshly grated Parmesan cheese and enjoy. Add grilled chicken if you like that sort of thing. 🙂
Rebecca is co-founder of Oak Mountain Coaching, an online practice that helps men regain their sexual integrity from the throes of active addiction and helps their partners heal from betrayal trauma.
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How Did I Get Here?
Here, being the surreal vortex of pain, confusion, anger, and fear. Discovering betrayal can cripple your nervous system.
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Taking Care of Basic Needs
For healing to begin, we start with base physiological needs. Easier said than done when we can't stop shaking or eat food.
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Finding Safe Foods
When in survival mode, our nervous system redirects most of the body’s energy to systems that keep us alive.
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Trouble Sleeping?
Sleep can be difficult to find in the early days of partner betrayal trauma. It's challenging to calm your mind and quiet thoughts.
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Importance of Grounding
Learning how to ground is an early important lesson for anyone with a dysregulated nervous system.
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Why Wasn't I Enough?
Because it isn't about you, just like it wasn't about me. I still want to scream when I hear those words 'it's not about you'.
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My Journey to Healing
We're wired to connect with other humans. We can sustain the most harm and most profound healing through this attachment.
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